Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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