i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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