benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
