Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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