I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
