maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
