Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
