people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
