haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
