Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
