I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
