we have pet lesbian snakes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
