Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
