On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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