is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
