I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
