I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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