Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
