I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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