Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
