I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Someone signed my nipple.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
