Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
