hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
