Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
