What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
