Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
