chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
