I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
