I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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