ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
