Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
