we're blogging at a bar
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
