as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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