He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
