If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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