There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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