whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
