with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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