I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
