you guys were way drunker than both of me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
