TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
