Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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