Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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