i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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