I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
