She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
