New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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