So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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