Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
