Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
