matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So I just went to clothing optional bar
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
